THEREFORE I AM: Participatory trophies a double-edged sword

Columns

Related Photos

February 16, 2009

By David Spates / davespates@tds.net The Crossville Chronicle Mon Feb 16, 2009, 03:38 PM CST

Before I was a parent there were things I promised myself I would never do. I would never demand that my kids go to the same college I went to. Check. I would never tell them that the music they're growing up on is worse than the music I grew up on. Check (even though it is — well, some of it). I would never hand out participatory trophies at the end of sports seasons. Hmmm. Well, you see, umm.

Even as a kid I wasn't really a fan of participatory trophies — as an adult I'm even less so. Handing out trophies to everyone at the end of a sports season, regardless of how well a team or individual players performed, just rubs me the wrong way. It's too touchy-feely, everyone-feel-warm-and-fuzzy, I'm-OK-you're-OK, hippy-dippy. Yuck.

That being said, I'm reminded of an old saying that seems to apply here. "You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube."

[Insert sigh of defeat here.]

Long before I volunteered to coach my kids' various sports teams, someone decided that it would be "nice" to hand out trophies to every single player who participated in the season. I don't know who the coach was, what sport his team played, or if he had an illicit kickback deal with the local trophy shop, but once he squeezed the Crest out of that tube, it was never going back in. Participatory trophies are here to stay, like it or not.

Through a little Internet research I was able to confirm what I suspected. Participatory trophies began in the 1970s — the same years I was playing soccer as a kid. The reason I suspected the '70s was because participatory trophies were just here and there. Some seasons I got a participatory trophy, and some seasons I didn't. The concept was just starting to take hold.

I won't lie. I enjoyed getting the trophies when I was young, but I suspect it may have had more to do with the fact that I was excited about getting a trophy because everyone else on my team was excited about getting one. So that makes me wonder if those other little boys in 1978 were truly excited or if they were, like me, simply happy to be included in the group. Was anyone more than just superficially thrilled?

This much I do know: I have no idea where all of those participatory trophies are today. I even had a handful of "earned" trophies, and I don't know where they are either. They're probably in a landfill somewhere or in my parent's attic in a box mislabeled "kitchen utensils." Either way, they haven't seen the light of day in decades, and probably won't for decades more. It's entirely possible they were sacrificed by yours truly and his pals in the name of backyard fireworks research and development.

Fast-forward 30 years or so. Now I have my own kids, and I'm more than happy to wear the coach's hat for their various teams. It's a lot of fun, but at the end of every season I feel a little funny about handing out the participatory trophies. The parent and soon-to-be-teacher in me can't help but wonder what message we're sending to these young kids. Are we setting them up for a long string of disappointments in adult life where even if you do your very best, you often don't get a reward? Third-party affirmation can be a crutch. Trophies and pats on the head don't come very often when you're an adult. I think the conscientious adult realizes that the internal satisfaction that comes from doing one's personal best is its own reward. If someone else wants to give you an "attaboy" or a trophy or a pay raise, that's great, but don't count on it.

I suppose I could be an ogre, put my foot down and refuse to hand out participatory trophies, but what would that really do? Nothing good. They're just kids. Participatory trophies are here to stay. They're part of American culture. If I don't give them out, someone else will.

My kids' rooms are full of trophies they've received not for winning anything, but merely for being part of a team. They arrange them on their shelves just so, but I'm not sure they're proud of them per se. They're just, well, there. Anna and Phil seem to view them as mementos of seasons gone by rather than spoils of victory. Is there anything wrong with that? Probably not. Would Vince Lombardi have handed out participatory trophies? Probably not. Of course, he wasn't coaching 5-year-olds who pick daisies in the outfield.

David Spates is a Knoxville resident and Crossville Chronicle contributor whose column is published each Tuesday. He can be reached at davespates@tds.net.

Text Only

Columns

GARY'S WORLD: Thank our veterans this weekend A tremendous opportunity presents itself in our community this weekend — an opportunity to honor those who served in the Vietnam War. Personally, after attending last year's first Welcome Home celebration, I wouldn't want to miss this. It was an emotional event for both Vietnam veterans and ordinary citizens. It was a great way to commemorate Vietnam Veterans Day in Tennessee, March 29.
March 27, 2009 1 Photo
RANDOM THOUGHTS: "Antiques Roadshow" comes to Tennessee If you are one of the 10 million who watch each episode of the “Antiques Roadshow” mark your calendar. The three upcoming Mondays, March 30, April 6 and April 13, were all taped in Chattanooga last July.
March 24, 2009 1 Photo
LION AND THE LAMB: An open letter to Sharon Baier I was happy to read your well-written article, printed in last week's Chronicle. It makes a strong case, in the story of Al and Jennifer, that "To make money, you have to spend money." That misguided couple thought that they ought to cut down on their purchase of supplies, to save money. They did so, week after week, until they lost their business.
March 24, 2009
WE THE PEOPLE: Veterans storm the Hill When young men and women risk their lives and sacrifice both physical and mental health for their country, a grateful country should at least provide them with shelter, food, and health care. But there is a lot of hypocrisy between what some windbag says on Veterans Day and what the country actually does for veterans.
March 24, 2009
THEREFORE I AM: Kids stress out parents? Well, duh! This just in: According to an expert, children can add stress and strain to a marriage. In other news, further expert studies have indicated that the sky is in fact blue, Paris Hilton is a tad spoiled, peanut butter and chocolate taste great together, and the Middle East has issues. Thank goodness we have experts to tell us these things.
March 23, 2009 1 Photo
INSIDE THE FIRST AMENDMENT: With shekels come shackles When President Obama launched his faith-based initiative at the National Prayer Breakfast on Feb. 5, he promised not only to sustain the Bush administration’s signature domestic program — but to expand it.
March 19, 2009 1 Photo
THEREFORE I AM: Jim Croce and I will keep you safe and sound My philosophy of life is simple: When in doubt, follow the advice of a dead folk-rock star. I always found Jim Croce to be particularly handy in this capacity. Don’t tug on Superman’s cape. Don’t spit into the wind. Don’t pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger, and regardless of how badly you may want to, do not, under any circumstances, mess around with Jim.
March 16, 2009 1 Photo
STUMPTALK: Stimulating a war on prosperity and freedom Near Bush’s sunset, Treasury Secretary Paulson and Fed chairman Bernanke terrified the nation with “the sky’s falling and America is doomed” unless the government steps in with new regulations, institutional takeovers and massive lending.
March 16, 2009
WE THE PEOPLE: Thoughts on bringing a recession to heel Responding to the recent full-throated baying of conservative “economic watchdogs,” I slogged into the swamp of their icon Adam Smith’s murky tome, “The Wealth of Nations,” to see if they had finally treed anything of value.
March 10, 2009
LION AND THE LAMB: Reality Dim blue of early morning shines into the living room

while you flip through television channels.
March 10, 2009
More Columns Headlines

Columns

Search Results

Related Photos

THEREFORE I AM: Participatory trophies a double-edged sword

Site Map

Contact Us